Two days in and I've already failed my own challenge. There is absolutely no good reason for it. I had all day to do it. I just kept saying, "I'll do it later," and then later was 5pm, I was hungry, and wanted tacos. I knew once I ate them, there was no going back.
I eat the tacos, and the tacos are delicious. I rationalize that I will just do extra stuff tomorrow. I drink a second margarita while telling myself I am practicing self-care by letting my body rest. After a third margarita, I am certain I am a health whisperer, and my body will get itself in shape if I just let it take its natural course.
In the cold light of morning, my lies are revealed to me (except the part about the tacos, which were delicious). I have posed myself a challenge because letting my body take its natural course means it will consume donuts ONLY and I want it to consume donuts SOMETIMES and also have muscles that will carry my skeleton around.
I decide to do two classes to make up for my error, but I do not want to do two barre classes back to back. Hannah has told me that her Intro to Pilates class is a good way to open the hips or wake up the lungs or deliver eggs to the glutes, I am not sure, I was not listening. But I did hear the words 'Intro to Pilates,' so I fire up the video.
One minute in, and I like it. Hip rolls! I need these. My hips always hurt.
Three minutes in, and I don't like it. Everything hurts. Why do I have to move my legs? Why are there seven more minutes?
Five minutes in, Hannah keeps telling me to keep a space between my waist and the floor. I do not think she realizes that I am here because there IS no space between my waist and the floor. Only donuts.
Seven minutes in, I hope I die.
Intro to Pilates ends and Hannah says I can take her other pilates class which are harder, and I am sure this is some sort of joke, because no one can do more than what I have just done in ten minutes.
Except I have to, because I said I would do an extra class today. My butt hurts and I have a headache because I am hungry and haven't eaten enough lunch (my stint as a health guru was clearly fleeting), but I have said I would Do The Thing, so the thing must be done.
I take a 20 minute barre class and I have chosen wisely, because the thing has me ROLLING with laughter. Dammit, Hannah, I am trying to hate you for hurting my butt with pilates and you are not making it easy!
I want to write more about my time with this class, because it was excellent, but I am also dying, and so I pat myself on the back for a job well done, but it is a metaphorical pat, because my arms don't work anymore.
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